The Spanking

Perhaps I will regale you with a tale from the past, a tale that will have you glued to your computer screen for minutes. I have so many I don't know where to begin. I guess I’ll start with one of my favorites.

Once upon a time, my cousin Sarah and I were waiting for my mother in the parking lot of Canadian Tire. All of a sudden, a boy pulled up beside us. Being teenagers starved for the attention of boys, we started talking to them, and eventually (i don't remember how) made plans to meet them at Sarah's farm later.

We pulled the old, "we're sleeping in the camper" trick, and off to the quonset we went. This is where things start to get hazy for me, as it was also the first time I ever smoked marijuana, so I can't remember exact details. I do remember being in the camper with the boys, I remember playing hide and seek outside in the dark, and being terrified that coyotes were going to kill us, so much so that I thought a post was a rabid coyote coming to eat me, I remember getting shocked by the camper as I stepped out and grabbed the handrail, which was somehow electrically charged, literally picked off my feet and thrown to the ground. And I also remember the spanking (my favorite).

Now, I think that we had gotten away with the SNEAKING OUT TO MEET BOYS for a couple of nights, or maybe it was just one, but I know, for some reason we went down the road to meet up with them. Somehow, her mother figured out we were gone and came looking for us. Damn the pot, but I don't remember how it happened, if we came back before she did, or if she found us. I think I would remember getting found, I think we thought we were in the clear and as it turns out, we weren't. I vividly remember being yelled at in the living room, and then the worst thing that could have happened: Uncle David storming up the stairs. Those who do not know Uncle David, do not know that he has never been angry in his life, unless my father was involved.

This was probably the scariest moment of my sixteen years of life. His face was red, his eyes were wild. I knew we were in trouble. He stormed into the living room and grabbed Sarah, pulled her off the couch and over his knee. And then it happened. A SPANKING AT SIXTEEN. Oh the humanity. I thought I was next. I wasn't, but I think it was close. I didn't know what to do, no one did. As I said, it was one of the worst things I ever witnessed. I believe there were more stern talking toos and being sent to bed, not in the camper, but the thing that i see when I close my eyes is the spanking. Horrifying.

I know that because of this incident, we were more careful when it came to mischief, but it didn't end it, and now whenever I'm feeling blue, all I have to do is close my eyes and open my mind to the day of the spanking, and suddenly I'm not sad.