Remember the post FAIL from 25 June? The one where I went to Tim Hortons and the Bagel Guy creeped me out? I went to Tim Hortons today. That one. Guess who was at the register? Bagel Guy. Conversation as follows:
BG: "Well hello. Congratulations."
Me: "Extra large steeped tea. Double double. Twelve grain bagel with cream cheese. Toasted. Please."
BG: "Did you want the bagel toasted before or after the cream cheese? It's just kind of messy if you do it after."
Me: *eyes roll* "Before if you could. Thanks."
BG: "Aren't you going to ask what I congratulated you for?"
Me: "I wasn't, but what?"
BG: "For being my prettiest customer today."
Me: *HUGE eye roll* "Wow. Thanks."
BG: "It's not everyday someone like you comes into this place."
Me: "I was here in June. You made my bagel."
BG: (Boss shows up. Thank God) "Here's your tea, ma'am. Have a great day."
Me: "Thanks."
The bad news is this Tim's is very near my new job. And I will be there everyday for well deserved yet unappreciated flattery. And steeped tea.
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Public Service Announcement
YOU ARE NOT INVISIBLE WHEN YOU ARE IN YOUR CAR.
Not when you're driving it, not when you're waiting at a light and certainly not when you're sitting in it in a parking lot at night with the interior light on. So PLEASE, for the sake of others around you, don't pick your nose at lights, or touch your genitals for any reason in the parking lot. We can see you and you DO make us want to vomit.
Not when you're driving it, not when you're waiting at a light and certainly not when you're sitting in it in a parking lot at night with the interior light on. So PLEASE, for the sake of others around you, don't pick your nose at lights, or touch your genitals for any reason in the parking lot. We can see you and you DO make us want to vomit.
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Tang
Today, in Zellers (where I never go if it can be avoided, which it couldn't today. I had a fabric softener emergency and thought that Zellers would be less retarded than Wal Mart), I overheard the end of a conversation. In fact, all I got was the last sentence: "I'd rather drink Tang."
What could possibly be so awful that you would rather drink Tang. I rolled around a few possibilities, and was able to come up with a list of things I would choose Tang over.
1) Toilet water. Unless it had Tang in it. Then I might drink it.
2) Goat milk.
3) Camel milk. Artificial flavour or the real thing.
4) Gasoline.
5) Chartreuse
6) Cola (including, but not limited to Coke, Diet Coke, Pepsi and Diet Pepsi)
7) Blood (excluding human)
8) Mollusc slime
9) Raw sewage
10) Egg Nog (but I guess that falls into the raw sewage category)
What could possibly be so awful that you would rather drink Tang. I rolled around a few possibilities, and was able to come up with a list of things I would choose Tang over.
1) Toilet water. Unless it had Tang in it. Then I might drink it.
2) Goat milk.
3) Camel milk. Artificial flavour or the real thing.
4) Gasoline.
5) Chartreuse
6) Cola (including, but not limited to Coke, Diet Coke, Pepsi and Diet Pepsi)
7) Blood (excluding human)
8) Mollusc slime
9) Raw sewage
10) Egg Nog (but I guess that falls into the raw sewage category)
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