I have a new stalker. And this one takes the cake. He peers at me through the window when I'm watching TV. I hear him tapping on the glass when I'm in bed. He's constantly looking for a way in. I'm afraid to go outside, for fear of what he'll do to me. And the worst part, he's a bird. A dirty Red-Breasted Robin.
He stares at me with his beady little eyes, eyes that reflect the evilness of his little bird brain. I know what he wants. He wants to peck my eyes out and feed them to his children. But I won't let it happen. I will be victorious over the harbinger of spring. He can hop around in the grass pretending to look for worms, but I know better, and while he is plotting his devious little plots, I will be preparing for my own war on terror.
You can mark my words, Little Robin Red Breast has twittered his last.
Here he is, staring in the window, unaware that I was watching him. And yes, that is a chair carved from a tree stump. Don't ask.
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