An Unfortunate Chain of Events

A very good friend of mine tore her knee out playing soccer (which is why you should NEVER play soccer) and is having surgery on Monday. In her honour, I will relate to you a story that is not my most embarrassing moment, but hers. And I'm so thankful that I had the privilege of being there as a witness. (In all actuality, if I hadn't been there, none of this would have happened, so while I will take the blame, I will not take the shame.)

It all started in the afternoon. Madame K (as I will refer to her as) and I were at her house picking on her younger brother. It progressed into us hiding his bus pass (Mistake Number 1) and then leaving. We had big plans for the evening. We were going to play Monopoly and drink beers at my boyfriend's house. And since I was so responsible, I told my mother what was going to be happening and that I would be spending the night there ON THE COUCH. Of course I had to lie to her about sleeping on the couch, but it was a small one, and I'm sure she knew where I would be sleeping. Madame K, on the other hand, told her parents she was staying at my house (Mistake Number 2).

We had to wait for "Dave" to get off work and neither of us wanted to risk being at our own homes, in case my mother came to her senses about allowing me to spend the night at my boyfriend's, or her brother realised his bus pass was missing and made a scene. So we did what all well adjusted sixteen year old girls do, we played Monopoly in the back of my van, and changed our clothes numerous times.

Finally "Dave" got home from work and the serious business of our first over-nighter at a boy's place began. There was beer involved, but since neither Kirstin (pardon me, Madame K) or I liked beer, I believe something harder was brought out (mistake Number 3). We did play Monopoly, and I think other things... maybe cards, I don't remember, but we did eventually go to bed. Madame K and "Dave's" friend "Ryan" slept on the couches, and I slept in "Dave's" bed. Nothing worth mentioning happened, except that "Ryan" removed his shirt and jeans in order to be more comfortable while sleeping (Mistake Number 4).

The next morning, unbeknownst to us, events were unfolding that were going to come to a head on the doorstep of "Dave's" house.

The bus pass was found to be missing, a call was placed to my house, looking for Madame K and Mr and Mrs "Smith" were told that Madame K and I had spent the night at elsewhere, namely a boy's house. A little side note here, when I told my mother what I would be doing that night, I told her two lies, not one. She asked me if Madame K's parents were aware of our plan and were okay with it. I said yes (Mistake Number 5). Back to the drama, our parents discovered they had been deceived, and perhaps the most unfortunate thing of all, my mother knew where "Dave" lived, and also had the phone number.

While all of this was taking place, "Ryan" discovered that he had left his medication (for what I don't know but I sure it was something disgusting, knowing him) at home and called his mom to get her to bring it over. When there was a knock at the door, "Ryan" went up to answer it wearing nothing but his undies and a blanket. HA HA. It turns out it was not "Ryan's" mother but Madame K's FATHER!!!!!!!

In a barely controlled voice he asked if Madame K was there and "Ryan" came down to tell her the news, although we had all heard it. Belongings were hastily thrown into the bag, and as she was taken away, the telephone rang. It was my mother. She demanded that I come home immediately. I was obliged to oblige. There was one little problem. My keys were no where to be found. "Dave's" house was torn apart. My van was torn apart, there were no keys to be had. And then I remembered. We put the keys in Madame K's bag to keep them from being lost. I had to call her house and speak to her mother (easily the most formidable of the two [her dad and my dad went to high school together in Three Hills, where they got into touble, and by coincidence Madame K and I met in phys ed many years later, so he was a little more forgiving of our shenanigans than he should have been]), and then "Dave" drove me to her house where I had to face her parents in person, and I was briefly allowed to see Madame K but she had yet to meet her fate so we didn't know what she was in for.

"Dave" took me back to his place, where I departed for home. Upon my arrival, the keys were removed from my possession and I was most unfairly grounded, for lying to my mother and causing her subsequent embarrassment. I didn't think I should be grounded but you cannot argue with that woman when her mind has been made up. I don't remember what happened to Madame K, I'm sure it was a grounding as well .... OH WAIT, I believe it was the most uncomfortable conversation imaginable - the Sex Talk!!

We learned a very valuable lesson that weekend. If you are going to be doing things you know your parents would not approve of, always, ALWAYS, keep in mind that everything you do is leaving a trail, so be very careful of your actions leading up to the mischief that you are planning to get into. We would have gotten away with everything if we hadn't hid that bus pass.